Next Steps: Part 1-2-3

Much to my delight I now find myself at home. Every time I travel I reach a point when I want to return to the people I love, which then requires me to also return to this city they live in! So, here I am back in GP.
I am so glad I detoured and found myself "waiting" in Nelson, the two weeks I spent there were necessary for me to finish thinking, praying, processing. And when it finally came time to leave it was because I wanted to be home, and not simply because I had nowhere else to be.
It is easier to return home to GP, and to be excited about it, when you know that your stay will be a short one. To prove that, I will be leaving again this Friday, heading down to Calgary for a handful of reasons and a handful of days, and then back up north. When I return I will try to find some work to keep me busy until Christmas, (if you know of anything...).
So the question now is obviously: What next? And amazingly I think I know and I'm excited about it too! I am planning on moving to Calgary in the New Year to find full-time work, and part-time studies. I am hoping to finish my ABC degree in the next couple years as I have a half dozen or less, classes left. That is part one.
Part two, I am pursuing an intentional community living situation. I have been reading, praying and having many conversations about community living for the last 2 years. And in particular, thinking about forming a community where hospitality and knowing those who are poor is part of the point. Very excitingly I have some leads towards building or finding this kind of community in Calgary.
Part three, this is the part that is a true miracle: Midwifery re-enters my life! Alberta's first approved, university level, midwifery education program is supposed to begin this coming fall, in Calgary! And if all the necessary pieces for that to happen go ahead and happen, then I will be the first to apply for the program! That means starting from scratch, it means four more years, but I have figured out how much I want this and I am willing to start again.
With all these things on the horizon home is a great place to be, I'm here to enjoy my family, friends and the next two months. I am continuing to try to live with the quote "Be Here Now" in mind, I'm trying to learn about waiting and living out my questions, and daily choosing joy.

Boise: the Hub

Here I am in Boise, and I'm loving Boise! Why is it that so many parts of my life seem to circle around this small city that isn't my home?
I've been here since Wednesday night, and have been to four births in the last four days. Which is a little wild, and it is all so good! I assisted at my very first water birth. Which I've always wanted to see - so great!
I'm really enjoying The Baby Place birth centre. I'm really enjoying normal, healthy, natural births. I'm enjoying the beauty of the care that is being provided. I'm enjoying time with good friends.
And I'm revisiting places with people, memories and feelings attached to them. And seeing them in different light. Good. But weird. Church yesterday seemed so odd without my 30-40 friends of that summer three years ago. I spent Saturday night in my old home, no longer full with 16 girls.
And with so many things converging on this one place and on some of these people, it's hard to keep track of what we have in common, and what is separate.

What a Good Day

A miracle was unfolded today. God gave me a gift.

I discovered just last week that all I need to complete my clinical requirements was one single experience, of any kind of skill. One that can be dated after January 27, 2008. So any experience I gain now counts.

And God provided! I had made a call, sent some emails, and I was waiting. Which I am very, very bad at doing. And just this morning my phone rang, one of my calls returned, the one I was hoping for. And an invitation was given to come and learn and finish my requirements! I am going to Boise, Idaho on Wednesday, for a week! I was crying and vibrating in my joy.

And then I went to work and received an email from my dear friend in Boise, with even more good news, and more excitement. In one day a wealth of God's blessings have been poured down on me. Jehovah Jireh. Giver of good gifts!

Odds and Ends

Here are the Odds and Ends:

• I'm feeling enormously better from the pneumonia, all is well. We discovered the likely cause: a large radius of mold caused by a slow leak in our basement, leaking directly into my room! Really nasty, but we've got it cleaned up and I've moved back down.
• The Edmonton road-trip worked out, I got to see my grand-folks, and go to the concert. The John Butler Trio are amazing - so freaking talented, I can't even explain. And The Skylight Room is a bit of a hole. And driving home all night and going to straight to work, is not the best plan!
• My midwifery degree seems to be falling apart at the seams, as the saying goes, "anything that can go wrong - will." I'm trying to figure out the pieces, and trust Jesus that He led me into this in the first place, and He won't leave me hanging. At least not forever.
• My Kuya TonTon just called me, all the way from the Phils, just to talk! I was so blessed! He and my Ate Nona, were my Manila-parents, they run the guesthouse I ended up living in for a bit. It was so special to hear from him, and seriously bizarre to get an unexpected call, late on a cold and snowy night!
• And then there's that... last week it was Spring, the snow was gone. This week it's Winter all over again, brushing off the car, letting it warm up, icy roads, 2ft of snow! Absolutely unacceptable!!
• I'm looking forward to 2 things: next week is our staff retreat... in Victoria!! Can't wait for a beautiful place, and some semblance of heat. And in a couple weeks I'm moving into a great basement suite with one other friend, and it will be great to reclaim certain freedoms!
  
• And now I have a prayer request, for a little 2-year-old girl who's facing a deadly cancer. Please pray for Charlize, as her last chance is receiving a stem cell transplant tomorrow. Her immune system is very very low, pray for a true miracle!!
  

Oh Yeah... Homework

The last few months, my mind has been anywhere but midwifery. There were a few too many other things on my plate, and I needed a break. Yesterday that all stopped!
I realized that I have about 2 months to complete all my requirements so that I can write my NARM board exam this summer. And that means that I will be replacing my social life with homework until the end of June, and then replacing that with pure studying! The fun stops here. And an entirely different "fun" picks up again. So if I'm not working you can be sure I'm studying.

Juno

I've just seen Juno.
And it was a fantastic film! Maybe I should say that I prefer the word "film" to "movie", as I feel that the latter suggests merely mindless entertainment. While films are smart, emotional, beautiful, or otherwise worthwhile. It wasn't perfect, it had a certain rough edge: on every side. But it was good.
I've just finished bawling in my kitchen.
And I don't know why. I'm not the type to cry at just any sappy scene, No, it's the surprising moments that claim my tears. Like the Tim Hortons commercial with the Chinese father and son, where the father disapproves of hockey, but secretly shows up to every game. That commercial does the trick.
Tonight it was the delivery scene in Juno and the moments after, as she just cries; my tears came, and the shakes, and I couldn't tell you why. Even now, and 10 minutes ago, I'm crying. I'm deeply, deeply sad or moved or called or lonely. I'm not sure how to title the emotion. I don't know what it is. It's just an ache with tears.
Watch Juno, it's good, really good. You probably won't cry, the film is clever and light, but it's the heaviest light to me right now. And I want to understand just why.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

I finished my last shift this morning. My work and practicum are officially over. Tapos na, humana ko. Here are all the lovely ladies I've been working with these last six months, they've all taught me so much. I started off the year working with the beautiful Mercy midwives in Manila, and I'm finishing it with the beautiful Glory midwives here in Cebu. And as they all pointed out (very jealously), I am extraordinarily white in this picture. But do not worry, I'm on my way this very hour, to spend the rest of the week fixing that! I have my backpack with me, in this little internet cafe, and in a bit I'll head out and meet my near-stranger traveling companion. I love traveling, and I really like doing it with near strangers too! I have seen many corners of many countries with people I barely know, and great pictures always result. Someday maybe I'll travel with dear friends, until then I'll take adventures with whoever is keen.

Ta-Da!

I am officially done my numbers!! I have delivered 20 widdle babies! 18 of them within the last 5 months!! Not only is that just great. But from now on I am stress-free, my clinical requirements have been met and the rest is just extras and more learning and fun. My first delivery was little baby Andrea way back in March, and my latest was a young Harley David. Yes, that's right, Harley David.
I have to say, its pretty cool - I've delivered 20 babies!

Needle and Thread

I finished another 24hr shift this morning. Two catches in one shift!
And very exciting for me, I finally got to suture for the first time! I fixed up a 2 degree tear on a new 17-year-old mom. I know you midi friends of mine, have mostly all done this and even become quite the experts. And hopefully I'll get there too. But this was my first time with my hands responsible, and man - I really enjoyed it!
It was so rewarding to see everything coming together just right! Very cool.
And if any of you think this has been too much information, sorry, but this is the blog of a midwife.

Just Switch

To clear up any confusion, I am now writing my exam next August! The joy of my life means that no plan lasts longer a few months!
The board running the exam made a change to the timeline for our paperwork, that puts me and the girls I was studying with back 6 months. It's not the best situation, but it does allow me to slack off a bit on my Anatomy and Physiology homework!
So, I was doing prenatals this morning and I had two patients who just made me laugh, one mom is having her 7th baby, the other her 6th. One mom has 6 boys at home, the other has 5 girls. I don't think the stats give them a very good chance at finally having a girl or a boy, respectively. But I'm kinda tempted to pray that they do. I know they're due in a couple weeks, so the gender thing has kinda already been figured out for a long time, but God could do it. Don't think He will though.
I suggested they switch at birth. But they didn't go for it!

Next?

I worked a night shift last night and stayed on to deliver a baby boy at 9:30 this morning. And seriously, I think I delivered a toddler! At 8.8lbs, this baby out weighs any other local his age! It's amazing how a person can get used to a 6lb baby as normal. If I ever practice at home I'm going to be bowled over at the size of Western babies!
A couple of friends just wrote their big bad Midwifery licensure exam in the States, an exam I'm going to be facing this time next August. And it brings to mind that I have to try and figure out what is going on in my life after 2007. I've always had a plan, at least a short term one, or a long term goal. I don't feel like I have either anymore. So as I begin already to book things in for next year, I wonder what on earth I will be doing, and where I will be. Can I really make any plans at all?
I'm still open to direction, of course, but I'm hoping 2008 has a lot to do with Canada! And a few great trips to Jasper.

24 Hours, an Office and a Haunted House

We turned out the lights, and we had just settled into our beds, when the door opened and a head popped in - "there's another labour." On - go the lights, back up - goes the hair, out of the air con and downstairs to assess our patient. Within the hour another 2 moms arrive. And that was Thursday night.
Well, I've finally woken up after sleeping almost all day yesterday! Thursday was a killer 24hr shift and by the end I was falling asleep in the middle of endorsing our patients to the next shift. I couldn't keep my eyes open if I wanted to!
We had 3 births, about 30 prenatals, 5 postpartum patients, a couple baby check ups and 2 yet-to-deliver labours. I know that a list like that hardly explains the mayhem, so you will have to believe me that all those numbers equal a crazy, non-stop busy 24hr shift! And being busy is a good thing, it means we're helping a lot of people, it means that I'm getting lots of experience. It means that this clinic is really meeting a huge need in this city! But it also means that for every 24hr shift, I have to schedule another day just to recover!
On a side note - my recovery day included discovering the wonder of the show The Office, which I have long wanted to watch, and have found in my apartment on pirated DVD. A new addiction has begun, but its a very wonderfully witty one!
Also my roommate Tess divulged to me this week that one of the rooms in our apartment is actually haunted. Yes, isn't that great? Apparently many people have heard voices in it, and felt a presence. And also a lot of spirtual warfare has been fought. I'm feeling ok with it, but I told Tess she really could have done without telling me!

No Room in the Inn

"There's no room in the Inn" - We've almost had to say that a couple times this week, but the grace of God has provided for our mothers just as He provided for His own.
At the clinic we are prepared to handle 2-3 moms in labour, and 3 postpartum moms staying anywhere from 24hrs to a couple weeks. We also have 3 beds downstairs for prenatals and check ups. Well this week we had a full house, and there were always women in labour. Family members of our moms were sleeping under their beds, and we even had moms staying in the midwife quarters too!
But the grace of God never sent more moms in labour than we could make room for, and he gave us wisdom for those emergencies that came up, and we had a very, very busy few days! Today was a little slower, and hopefully we'll have a couple days now to recuperate before another wave of precious new lives joins us!

Baby Party - June's Babes

Once a month we have a Baby Party to celebrate all the births of the last month. Parents and their babes are invited back for worship, blessing of the children, family planning info, immunizations, check-ups, gifts and cake!
Wow. It's busy! But it's pretty neat too, where else would these families get that kind of celebration put on for them?

Our welcome room and prenatal area, this is where patients are first examined for prenatals, labours and postpartums, and if we're ever really busy upstairs, some babies get born down here too!

What a privilege it is to pray over these babies and ask God's blessing and protection for them. Please note, the blue tinge does not indicate a weird spiritual aura (haha), our parties just happen underneath a blue tarp!

Some of our midwives preparing an immunization. They look really, really into it! Things usually aren't that dramatic around the clinic!

Baby Irish who I caught last week.

The First Touch

Well I know I've previously talked about a couple baby-catches, and I've assisted at plenty of births in the last 5 months. BUT... last night I had what was in my opinion my first Official, Official Baby Catch! It was such a high!!
I was the first person to ever get to touch that baby (a girl, yet unnamed)!! I got to be with the mom throughout labour, and when that head was born - reach down, to find no cord wrap, but one little hand grasping her little ear. I delivered that arm, and then the other and out came baby! Honestly, what a miracle!
Birth is amazing, Amazing and being a part of it as a doula, an assistant or primary midwife is an incredible privilege. There is a bond that's built between a mom and everyone present when she gives birth. Because you watch her perform a miracle, and demonstrate such incredible power, and then such gentle maternal love. And new life is too precious for words.
So friends, I caught a baby last night and it was fantastic! I guess I'll do it again soon!

Right Where God Has Me

So here I am, on the island of Cebu, and living in the city of Cebu, and feeling right smack in the middle of where God wants me to be! That's a pretty great feeling!
Even though Cebu is only a 45min flight from Manila I decided to take more adventurous route and got on board the SuperFerry instead. Which gave me 24hrs at sea to watch the water and the clouds, to wax poetic, to watch the water and the clouds some more and to get into an indepth religious discussion with a local pastor. I also ended up with a most fantastic farmer's burn, (on a cloudy dark day), and a good sense of transition, moving out of Manila and some of the difficult moments I faced there, and moving on to something different and new. I needed those 24hrs to reflect and make goals and watch the water and the clouds.
After arriving I had 2 beach days with some new friends and now I'm beginning to burrow into the clinic, my apartment and a new city. So far I've done 2 prenatal days, been at 2 births and completed my first night shift! What could be better than knowing you are in the place God has prepared for you?

The whole population of Manila on one fishing boat!

All just shades of grey: the incredible city skyline.

This storm formed over the island next to us, dark, amazing, looming clouds, pouring out their fury on everything below.

Mushroom Cloud: the storm moved off the land and passed right over our ship, somehow we survived!
The next day 360 degrees of this view entertained my eyes for hours.
At the beach my favourite flowers were there to greet us!
And at low tide we could walk out forever on this undersea sidewalk, with starfish and crabs and sea centipedes (of death), to watch on either side.

And look at the show God gave us at night!

NOT my ferry!
The sky was glorious

God's Leading Me

So the time has come for an announcement! God has really been paving the way for me, working in my heart and opening up opportunities and I will soon be able to continue my midwifery training and service!
Through the help of another midwife I came into contact with a clinic running in the city of Cebu (think central Philippines), with the same heart that you sent me out with. A heart to love and serve poor families and to provide women with excellent pregnancy care, all in the name of Christ! And I have been welcomed to move down south and join them in their work for six months! All the details have yet to fall into place but I hope to make the move in the middle-to end of June. I am so deeply happy, every buntis (pregnant woman) I see, makes me miss the personal and joyous work of midwifery - I can't wait to get my hands back to work!
It is hard to express what a journey I have been on these last few months, especially the last one - but I really want to openly rejoice because God is good in the midst of every circumstance! He has been teaching me about faith, obedience and about giving Him the glory. And He has really been awakening my hunger for Him.
For those of you who have been praying so faithfully for me I want to say a huge "Thanx", and I want to let you know that your prayers have been answered in my life!

Breast is Best!

To those who are interested (as I am) - in breastfeeding... Here's an article about how moms in the Philippines are being tricked into giving their infants formula instead of breastmilk. Each and every commercial break here encourages good parents to give their children some sort of "milk product" that is supposed to make their child smarter and healthier.
The worst offender of all is the Nestle corporation, who not only campaigns their products but also offers free samples to new mothers through health clinics. Only a later moms run out of formula, after their milk has already dried up, and now, like it or not, they're hooked!
Formula feeding depletes the family's resources and increases the occurence of health problems in the infant now and for life! Read this article for a bigger picture, click HERE.

Big Change

Forgive me for not posting in an inordinately long time, I've been contemplating a lot and facing a big decision. And all of it has had me quite preoccupied. But now the decision is made and I'm facing big changes.
With a lot of prayer and heart-searching I decided that I won't be finishing my program with the school I'm with. I am still passionate to become a midwife, to serve the poor and especially to care for women and children. But I really feel strongly that this wasn't the right path for me. I am wishing them well, and it is so sad to move away from the family I have been a part of here in Pingkian. I have had some of beautiful experiences in the last couple months, and these people really matter to me. This has been a tough choice.
But now I'm in the process of moving, both from my house and ministry. I will be volunteering here in the Philippines with a Christian development and social work foundation, and I will continue to study midwifery on my own. Later on this year I hope to re-enter midwifery training and ministry, and am really trusting God to lead that and put me in the right place at the right time.
I thank you - my friends for your love, support and prayers for me! This is as unexpected for you as it is for me. But I want you to know that I am trusting God, I feel safe in this choice, and feel like I'm being obedient to what He has put inside me. There is peace and joy!

Baby Daniel

At home babies fit into a range of normal weights, babies that are anywhere from 6-9lbs are considered normal. In the Philippines, when a women has an 8lb baby, people ask her where she went to have her cesarean section!
Yesterday I caught baby Juan Daniel, who is a whole 3700g, which is more than 8lbs, and now all the neighbours are asking mom about her C/S. But Irene did not need one, she delivered normally and naturally and both her and her new son are in tip-top shape! And it was my privilege to be primary midwife, my first "official" catch! Observing and assisting at births is special, but being the first person to ever hold a baby, is an entirely new plane (thanks for the help dad...)!

Sometimes after we come home from a birth we're so tired we don't even make it to bed... nice one Mia!
The view from a Metro overpass; the street is EDSA and the place is Quezon City, which is where I live. May I say, this view is FAR prettier than the one we have seen on every other day since we've been here.
My DTS friend Sonja came to visit last week, we haven't seen each other in 2 years and it was so great to catch up! Sonja works with needy kids here in the Philippines, and God is doing great things in her life! I'm proud of you Sonja!