The Bottomless Lake

It was 2 weeks ago my folks texted with a command to pack a bag and join them in Jasper, where it was very hot. I thought for a moment and did as I was I told, arriving that evening. I had two lovely, gorgeous weather days in the mountains. We floated down the Athabasca and I went swimming in the bottomless Horseshoe Lake. Which was certainly cold and mildly nerve-wracking. What appears in these pictures to be crystal blue waters was actually shear underwater cliffs, a black unknown full of fish. And I'm a sissy! But I eventually accomplished my goal and swam out to this fascinating island rising almost to the top, right in the middle.


Alas summer is over, winter has come and my feet and fingers are always cold. Sweater days are here!

the D tour

Last weekend I made a province-wide road-trip with stops in Edmonton, Calgary, Okotoks, Longview, Kananaskis, Canmore, Banff, and Jasper. I also managed to see Ben and Lisa, Jessica and Jordan, my Nana, Kayte, Dakota, Sarah and Heather. I slept in my car one night. And took in Canmore's annual free Pancake Breakfast. Pretty good for a trip taken alone!
Now I didn't use my camera on the first half of the trip, but from the time I saw D, to the time I got home, I took a couple hundred shots. Stopping at every great view, all the way through the Rockies!
You'll have to forgive the little blur spot on most of the pictures, my lens needs looked at, and the pics need retouched. I have yet to do either.

The Steal

I hit a Major sale at Tall Girl in Edmonton last weekend. And I managed to double my denim collection, which brings me up to 4 pairs! Uber-exciting. I bought two pair of jeans, originally priced at $130 each, and 5 shirts, for $130 Total!!
And as you can see, one of those pairs of jeans, happens to be overalls. Some really hilarious, wonderfully sassy overalls!

In Between

Sometimes I wish to use this blog to share those deepest things, things that I get out best with pen and paper in hand. Which is something I haven't been doing this year. So sometimes I think it would be easy just to write them out here. But then there they would be, for all the world to read. And so I don't.
Sometimes I wonder at how my blog becomes a sounding place for only the happy and momentous. I don't share pictures of the day-to-day, and I rarely write of anything resembling pain. At least not since I returned home. Fact is I almost don't know where to begin. And then I wonder if I should trust the whole world, (though there are surely only 5 of you reading). So I don't write.
One thing that I have been facing, noticing and living in the midst of is my personal tendency to experience other's pain. Empathy. I have too much of it. For the last three months now I have been quite able to cry, in every moment. And I certainly have, I can't count how many times I've cried at work, I mean I even had a good cry at the swimming pool during Teen Camp.
I was talking to my Nana last week, talking about the realization and experience of a love that can not fix everything. A heartbreaking truth; our best attempts, (and our failures), all added up do not directly equal some sort of wholeness or healing. A mirror of the way that even God's perfect love does not force us to respond to Him. A reality of heartbreak. In my life and in others around me.
And I feel like an emotional cripple. I can't deal with the reality of constant sadness, disappointment and emptiness. So when I get a hold on all the tears, I straighten myself up, turn to look the opposite way and tell God, "I can't deal with this. You have to." And try to ignore it. Because when my thoughts and heart return to the matters that surround, the depths of brokenness overwhelm me and I become a person who uses cold compress tea bags to maintain a normal appearance.
Hmm, perhaps this is why I don't write. Because who in reading, wants to be brought down into the mire? I do not mean to cause anyone any sense of alarm. I do not pretend that the sadnesses I feel all around me are greater than the sadnesses that surround most of us. But rather I am in the midst, and I'm crying my way through. With desperate, ineloquent prayers too. So in between the pictures I post, I hope you might know me more honestly, living out happy occasions, yes, but not always carefree.