Sunday Morning

I had tea with a friend this morning, so I made dark chocolate raspberry scones. Delish!

Embracing Bright Sadness

It's spring here all windy and sunny, and people out walking and buying bicycles across the street. I have been enjoying walks down to the river and around the neighbourhood, past incredible houses and yards that look like acreages, and rundown apartment complexes and boarded up homes. I love this strange place of Bowness.
I have been working with the twins for the last 3 weeks and this is really the perfect job for me right now! I spend my days juggling the babes, so far they're still so small that I can lift and care for one in each arm. Right now the most challenging part is feeding or burping them both at the same time. But the the true challenge will come as they get bigger. Yikes. All in all I think it's perfect: 2 sweet babies by day, social life and good night's sleep by night!
There are about 3 weeks left of school and my only remaining assignment is a hermeneutics paper on Hebrews 6, and whether or not Christians can reject Jesus and then be brought back to repentance. I anticipate it to be intense, but really good too, right?
Also good - Lent, I've been really challenged so far, and I'm glad about that. I've participated in Lent before and found my practice a little empty. This has hit closer to my heart, my choices, my pocketbook. Perfect. It hits when my favourite pair of jeans get a bad hole in them, I only have 2 other pairs. To shop now would simply be filling a need, but instead I get to exercise restraint and wait until after Easter. Wearing the jeans I like less, wearing skirts and leggings. Keeping my fast and recognizing that so many do not get to choose to simply buy new jeans when old ones get holes. Much less clothes they don't need, or luxurious treats like chocolate and lattes. This is my Bright Sadness this year.

Tulips on the Table

I have tulips on the desk in front of me, and tulips are things that make me happy. So I smile.
Coming to the end of reading week I have accomplished a deplorably small amount of reading. Oops. Added to that issue is the part where my computer crapped out this last week, with no warning. Taking it with it all my class notes, which would assist my midterm prep. I'm hoping resurrection is in it's future.
Lent started on Wednesday and I decided to participate. I'm going to try to keep up with someone's version of the Lenten lectionary. But more for certain, I have put some restrictions on my buying habits. I tend to spend my "extra" money on such things as lattes, chocolate and clothes. All "me" things, and all offer me some sense of temporary satisfaction. I am not buying any of them for the next 40 days, and maybe, hopefully far less of them after.
Reason 1: is that they are ultimately selfish things, they don't benefit others, they are me hoarding good things all for myself. Reason 2: is that I believe that the excess of my budget is indeed the blessing and provision of God, for the express purpose of blessing others. And me using it so indiscriminately is actually me stealing it from those God had intended to bless through me. Whether those others are my roommates or the poor, or someone else entirely.
So I am disciplining myself. And very glad to be. It's already hurt on several occasions, and that is proof enough to me that I hit the nail on the head, and chose well this season.
One week until the twins.

The Hitchhiker Who Stayed

I went to a show tonight and a girl I'd just met said to me, "your hair looks so... natural." Umm, thanks?? Now I thought I'd been having a pretty good hair day. I was feeling really great about my hair. Until I was suddenly feeling very self-concious and wishing I had crazy, unclean hipster hair. Thanks lady.
I've been working lots this last week, a different job every day, different house, different kids, different parents, different hours. It's a good way to keep from getting bored, and I've looked after some pretty sweet kids. But I'm also excited, because on Monday night I'll be interviewing for a contract nannying newborn twins! Which would offer more doses of normal and stable to my days. If I can deal with that. I think the demands of two infants would keep me on my toes enough. Until then, I'll keep touring the city finding all sorts of incredible and hidden neighbourhoods and beautiful homes!
Things seem rather impossible on the moving front, like things are just floating and maybe floating apart. I so want this to happen, I am excited and wish I wasn't being delayed. But I'm working on the whole trusting thing, and I love my current home and I really am happy.
I love this city, I love life. Now everything isn't simply glossy good, yet God has transformed my existence with joy. Not some ridiculous amount of smiling and happiness. But deep, peaceful and thankful joy. The wandering I did this fall was imperfect and so good, so necessary - I have been changed. Somewhere along the road joy hopped in my stationwagon, and I'm not letting it go!

3,2,8 and Joy

3 weeks in Calgary. I love this city, and life is good.
I have 2 classes a week, Pentateuch and Hermeneutics. And it's good to wake my brain up a bit, shake off my thinking skills, find out if they're still there. I've gotta say I'm a little afraid for my 2 academic papers.
I managed to snag the job I was hoping for, and am finishing up paperwork and then orientation and I should begin sometime next week. The job: working as a nanny, taking either on call - one off jobs or short term contracts. Working with kids, lots of change, and hopefully not getting bored! I am so grateful, this is the only job I applied for and it's one I think I'll really like.
I want to say something about Haiti. But haven't we all heard so much, the papers, radio, tv, emails, everywhere. It's so heavy and makes me think about the tsunami, and being there and so far away, and feeling helpless. Usually I feel the farthest thing from the apostle Paul, when he spoke of how he wanted to go and be with Christ. I confess; I want this life, and I want Heaven and God too, but I want to go when I'm old. Right or wrong, that's where I am. But with Haiti, when I consider the depth of this kind of suffering, it's the only time I can really desire and ask God to come soon if that would be better. To stop the groaning of creation, of His people. Because I can't comprehend.
The stories these last few days, of people being rescued, more than a week later. They have been such a source of joy for me, of relief. People I know are finally going to have their adopted son. These are small glimmers of beauty and the faithfulness of God. I may not know how to deal with all the other questions about all the other people. But I will trust, pray and rejoice in what is good.
This week a very small "something good" in my life, has been the 8 tiny little sprouts of Basil plants that have made their appearance in a small pot in my house! They bring me joy everytime I see them. To increase my joy I planted Rosemary, Thyme and Oregano just yesterday and am looking forward to their appearance in a few weeks!
What is bringing you joy lately?

Dear Anybody

I was trying to explain to Shye what this blogging thing was all about and she thought that the greeting above was best way to start. And so dear Anybody, I am moving. And how am I ever going to survive living in Calgary without this little girl and all her hugs, and a certain young boy and his attempts to dominate in wrestling.
I haven't moved in a very long time, moving is so much bigger than traveling or wandering. Living nowhere in particular doesn't scare me. Living by some loose and open-ended version of a plan suits me just fine. Not knowing, always new. Great. Staying put? I hardly know how. This week, moving to Calgary seems like the continuation of my wandering adventure, but at some point new is going to become old, normal, and ordinary. And I'm afraid that I don't know how to do that.
At this point ordinary seems a long way off, while I am moving tomorrow, I know that one month from now I should be 'moving' my things across the city again into some sort of apartment that may be home for some time. For now I will be living with a handful of new people, and then I will be living with more new people. I am going to have to learn what it looks like to love my neighbour and teammates in a place I don't even know about yet. I am starting school on Tuesday, and it has been 3.5 years since I was in school, what have I got myself into? And while for the next few weeks I am a bit of my own boss, I am also looking for a new job. There's plenty of uncertainty and newness on the horizon.
For now I am excited and ready for the challenge, but certainly sad to leave. The weight of leaving is heavy. I am not just traveling, I am moving. I am making the choice to be somewhere else, a choice to leave my family. I feel as though the decision was made too easily, and I feel as though it was birthed in me so slowly and with prayer. Both.
I am moving tomorrow.
From,
Kim