Maayo Kaayo

Twenty ten was this great year of God giving me good things. And I may not have blogged in the last 8 months, but it's New Years and the day, the season, demand some accounting of my living and some contemplation.
January 1, 2010. I was stuck in Chicago, for the second time in a week, ridiculously frustrated, tired and just wanting to be home! Ironically three days later, having arrived home, I packed my car and moved. Transplanting to Calgary with hopes of things that might come to fruition. And one year later I can say that none of them turned out as I had hoped or expected.
Thus far you're probably wondering where all the good was. Well, I fell into it, or God tricked me into it, or something! While I was camping out in the home of kind friends, working towards something else, God began to plant me in their neighbourhood and church. And by March I realized that I wanted to call this place home, and these people my community. So I've stayed and been so blessed in it all.
Last year as I wandered, (was that really just last year??), I felt like I connected with Henri Nouwen's question of Where do I belong?, and that's what I was asking God. And He responded with Bowness and Awaken. He took away the wandering in my heart, the part of me always looking for the next thing, the restless part. He planted me here.
January 1, 2011. I slept in after a late night with friends. Woke to sunshine and drew up my blinds, made coffee, turned up Sufjan Stevens and spent a few hours carving back the chaos in my life. Making space to breathe and live. I don't pretend to guess at 2011. I hope for more good things; I look forward to growing season again, I hope midwifery school starts this fall, I hope to create more rhythm in my life in this neighbourhood, I hope to make certain steps in loving people better. But that's all I've really got. I'm so grateful for what God has given me, for a year that was that good! Here's to another!

Spoons scramble at Thursday night dinner.


Working on my Skip It skills with this dumpster find.


Made a cross country trip with my friend Meghan, Hello Wisconsin!


Said goodbye to my dear old friend Matilda, moved on to Frieda the Matrix, and lost her just before Christmas. The New Year will bring car shopping.


Turned 25 on Vancouver Island.

Thanksgivng with my amazing family!

And for the first time since I was half my age, I'm rocking some bangs.

Into the Grey

After another great Sunday at Church I headed out with friends to enjoy lunch and their good company. We settled into BP's lounge and discussed many things like cats and hammers, psychopathy and patriarchy, cultural conditioning and Christmas plans. When towards the end of our round of Stromboli sandwiches, we struck a deep note and began to probe our views on life's grey areas. The Truth and truths of Jesus as The Way, the canonization and legitimacy of Scripture and the validity of other gods. It was quite a discussion.
I've missed that. I've missed healthy, deep wrestling with people who might not all think as I do, who might have something to teach me, who might need to hear what is in my heart, just as I need to hear what is in theirs. And perhaps that's just more cultural conditioning, perhaps that desire in me might speak more to how I've been raised and to my culture, then it does to any human need. I never experienced any such discussion among Filipinos, perhaps I was oblivious, perhaps my language was too limited. Or perhaps the value of individual beliefs and the obsession with truth is a cultural trait limited to where I have been raised. Perhaps.
It's all tying together, all our topics swirling in and out in some sort of mixer dance; what we said, and how I'm talking about it now, inextricably linked and confusing. We reached no conclusions, and no one won or lost, but we made a date for next Saturday morning to go at it again over coffee. I've missed this.

Baby Party - June's Babes

Once a month we have a Baby Party to celebrate all the births of the last month. Parents and their babes are invited back for worship, blessing of the children, family planning info, immunizations, check-ups, gifts and cake!
Wow. It's busy! But it's pretty neat too, where else would these families get that kind of celebration put on for them?

Our welcome room and prenatal area, this is where patients are first examined for prenatals, labours and postpartums, and if we're ever really busy upstairs, some babies get born down here too!

What a privilege it is to pray over these babies and ask God's blessing and protection for them. Please note, the blue tinge does not indicate a weird spiritual aura (haha), our parties just happen underneath a blue tarp!

Some of our midwives preparing an immunization. They look really, really into it! Things usually aren't that dramatic around the clinic!

Baby Irish who I caught last week.

Closing Another Chapter

Well my time here in Manila is coming to a close and I am getting ready to leave for Cebu on Wednesday, another life Chapter is closing, a particularly short one this time. I have had a lot of good experiences, worked through some deep questions, and met many interesting and great people in the past 2 months - both while living at the guesthouse and through volunteering with PCF.
I know there haven't been many pictures lately, especially of any of the work I've been doing. As I'm sure you understand, pulling out a paparazzi style camera in a slum is a little insensitive, so I haven't even attempted. This week I did go in and photograph some of the moms busy with their livelihood projects of sewing and jewlery making and I sneakily snapped this from a second story window. It's not a good picture, but perhaps it will help you imagine the Navotas community a bit further, that wall of boxes is a wall of graves, the empty pavement the local basketball court, and the green fluid is unidentifiable. This is the place where children play, some naked, all barefoot. I have such respect for the beautiful people who live there, especially those who are working hard to serve their neighbours! I'm truely grateful for my time with PCF, they are doing remarkable work, all with hearts to love like Christ.

Community

Tonight was one of the most encouraging times I've had here. Three of the midwives from across town joined us for dinner, worship and a dance party! It was so special to share a good meal, powerful prayer time and then finally to break it down!
My DTS friend Sonja is visiting for the week on her way home from a year of missions here in the Philippines. Not only is it great to have her company and to catch up, but it was such a blessing to have her prophetic prayer over us midwives - all of us facing our struggles and emotions. We may dance here often, but this was a special evening with these dedicated women of God!

Names in the Masses

Yesterday was good for my heart.
Let me be really, really honest here. The last week or more I have been having a hard time dealing with some of my inner-criticisms. I've been beating myself up because I feel so detached from the needs and faces around me. I've felt disdain for the idea of missions and my desire for comfort. And I've wrestled my dislike for this enormous Metropolis that is currently my home.
That is my reality - sorry if its a little glass-half-empty. I suppose some of these emotional pitfalls are part of the all familiar culture shock.
But I said that yesterday was good for my heart, so there is an upside... Yesterday Mia and I joined Gerlene, the dear Filipina midwife we work with, and went with her on home visits. This will be a regular part of our work here, walking throughout the community and stopping in at the homes of the pregnant women we care for. The community we are working in is a short walk from our home and the area houses some 300,000 people. The people who call this place home are all poor, families here might live on $100-200 a month!
So we walked about, visiting of our pregnant mommies; we stop in at their homes and perform prenatal check-ups, talk and maybe enjoy some merienda (this is the name for a snack, basically anything without rice!) Our merienda yesterday was Sprite and white bread and mayo sandwiches - nutritious and delicious! During home visits we meet family members and neighbours and have a chance to see their homes (most live in the maze of closet sized cement box houses).
In all of this, my spirit was somehow renewed and I saw the chance to know these women, to be a part of an intimate time in their lives, and to show care for them and their families. In this kind of care we are able to enter their lives not just for the moment of birth, not just as health care providers, but as friends, and hopefully as the light of Christ!
There is a mysterious attraction and beauty in the slums, in close-knit families, in people taking care of each other, in children playing in the lanes, in simplicity, in generosity and open homes. And I find that my heart quickens, that my spirits are bolstered when I walk there. That doesn't erase my questions and it doesn't change the fact that these people live in incredible need. But in a city I dislike, there is a beacon of warmth, in the midst of the masses, people become human. They have faces and names; Gemma, Alma, Irene, Melba, Grace.

Kim's Going Away Party

Last night was the official Kim's Going Away Party, and never has there been a dance party like it!! We all boogied for a solid 3 hours, I mean we went mad! It was a beautiful, crowded, overly warm celebration. I would pick no better way to leave all these blessed friends then to "smack that" and "drop it like its hot" with them!! Some of the most fun EVER!
There were a lot of people there last night that represent a big part of my heart - its hard to really say goodbye, hard to know that none of us will stay the same (ultimately a good thing), but that means that this special time, these last 4 months, will not be repeated - good things don't last forever, you enjoy them while they are, but you must hold them with an open hand.
So I am going to open my hands now, and "smack that"...

(pictures to follow this afternoon!!)

Church

Well, it's come and gone - I've had my last Sunday here in GP, and Canada for that matter (and for now). The next time I attend church it will be in a warmer climate, in a different language and a different flavour!
I'm going to miss GP Church of Christ a lot! My home church, my family - there are so many there that I love. People I've grown up knowing, have served with, have learned from. I dearly love our church, and will miss singing alongside them, Alan's sermons, the jr high youth, my quirky-yet-lovable bible study group. All parts of this family that I love.
But as I go out, I know that the love and ministry of the church is going with me. I do not go to Manila alone, along with my midwife-sisters and (of course) the LORD, I go with the heart of our GP CofC. You are ministering alongside me, you are helping me even though I'm far away, and you are a part of any lives touched in the process.
I love our church. I love the Church!

Two of my Three Roomies

This is me with my little Grayson!

I get to see and snuggle him everyday.

Today while I was wearing him in the sling

he even fell asleep for me,

I'm a proud Auntie!

Me and my new roomie Jenn (Gray's mom)!

Melancholy

Oh Friends, today is a hard day, yesterday too. School is over, and all my dear classmates are going, going, gone. The hard thing about being involved in short-term communities (ie: DTS, or this summer), is that you put your whole heart into people - because you can't put only a bit, you just can't. But when the community moves on, as with these things it really should. Well, your heart goes with everyone who leaves. So my heart is a little tender today, sore, and melancholy.
But Lord I am grateful for this summer, for this community that shaped me, and loved me and and danced with me (literally)! This has been an incredible gift, and it is you my friends at home that have helped get here, to be apart of this life that God is calling me into, giving me, and leading me on.
I'm coming home to you friends. In a few short days I will be home. For the short term atleast, as it most always seems to be. But none-the-less I will be back in your community, loving and changing with you.
This summer has been wonderful, inexplicably good. And I look forward to the time when I will meet these friends again on distant shores, whether that be in a few months in the Philippines, or Heaven. But as for today, today I am sad. And quiet.
Bye.

One Prayer Answered!

If you folks remember I had asked you to pray for one of my classmates about a month ago - Suzette and her boys. Well God answered your prayers the little sis of one of my classmates has come to watch them for the rest of the school! She's such a sweetie, and is bonding great with the kids! We're so glad Suzette is back in class fulltime. Praise God!

Born Again and Again and Again

Its a Wednesday night and I have finished my homework before 12 o'clock- miracles do happen! This weeks assignment is "Normal Labour and Pain Management", and I must say that the actual labour homework is the most interesting of all our studying.
This afternoon as a visualization of the 8 Mechanisms of Labour we each made shower-cap style fetal skulls which we wore as we attempted to be born out of a cardboard box mother! Maybe you had to be there - it was worth many a chuckle! But today I was born 3 times - twice LOP (sorry, cardboard box mama) and once LOA. LOP stands for left occiput posterior, meaning that the back of my head was facing my mama's left side and my spine was towards hers - that means painful back labour. Ouch!
Here we are a class of midwives-to-be in fetal fashion! Note the large anterior fontanelle!

4th of July, A Rally, Updates, Classes, God

It has only been a week - but I really feel like it has been forever since I have posted! How are you all? Life here is good - continuing at breakneck speed as is usual! I am overwhlemed to think of all that we have covered in classes so far - there is so much information - so much of God working in us and so much further to go!
After just over 1 month we have begun to study LABOUR - woohoo! Up to this point we have been studying pregnancy, which has been really good, so much information, and just seeing how perfectly and wonderfully God created pregnancy and birth to be the beginning of families, the perfect cocoon for a baby! It is absolutely stunningly amazing - (you can insert an Amen! here if you like, or just nod and smile, if you'd rather just take my word for it!).
But now - the real fun begins - LABOUR! So although the homework is shocking, and sometimes I think I don't want to answer another question or pick up another text - we keep keeping on - because we are being prepared and so soon in the future we will be putting all this book-learning into use and start catching babies!
So - some of my recent adventures, or things I've learned, or classes we've taken... here they are:

• Breastfeeding - the best gift any mother can ever give her child, it is an absolutely amazing intersection of the physical and emotional! In a 3rd world country breastfeeding alone saves thousands of infant lives - and with more education and encouragement could literally be saving thousands more each year!
• Abortion/Pro Life - we had a class last week with Brandi Swindell who is at the church here in Boise, she started an organization called Generation Life here and she is involved in the pro-life movement all across the States. Anyway, the class was absolutely awful - no one wants to be confronted with the grossness of injustice and murder. We'd rather not go there, but we faced it last week and two things hit me - one, it doesn't matter to the baby about to be aborted if I say I'm prolife, it matters if I'm doing something about it (whatever that looks like in my life), and two, Women Deserve Better! Women are really being lied to about abortion, the pro-choice side states that they care about women's health and empowerment, but by the way they act they are proving that they have other motives (MONEY). I know that the whole culture of pro-life/conservatism/political right is different in the States then Canada - but on both sides of the border we need to engage this issue. We need to get God's heart for women in crisis, for the unborn and then we need to act.
• Rally - since then we attended a pro-life rally, its was pretty small, our school made up about half of it! But we spent 3 hours worshipping God and praying and asking Him for change. Being a part of a rally was definitely a first for me! But it was good and I hope we can watch God move, and Idaho make steps towards choosing Life, and better options for women.
• 80's Night - we had an 80's night on Monday - as you can see from the pics - it was pretty special! We had a lot of fun, and went downtown for coffee and ice cream - but downtown Boise - well we kinda fit in!
• Prayer Updates - as far as my two recent prayer requests - the clinic is still shutdown, we are still waiting and ready to see what God will do. And Suzette is still waiting, her babysitter went back home this week and Suzette has pulled out of class. We want her to be able to return and be a part of school full-time, please keep praying. There's a chance a girl could come out here to help out starting in August - and that's better than where we're at right now.
• God in My Life - through our discipleship classes God has been really moving in my heart this week - and I am handing a lot of my "masks" and "idols" over to Him. It is an experience that is both humbling and freeing. I want wholeness and righteousness more than I want to look all put together for you, or anyone here in Boise. So I'll seek God. Right now I am trying to learn what it means to be real with God and before others, I don't want to hide, and I don't want to pursue anything in life other than Him (even good things). Please pray for me as God shows me how to change and teaches me how to live.

So for now, I sign off, homework calls. (OK - the pics aren't posting - I promise they're coming really soon!)

Oh Canada!

Happy Canada Day folks!
Even though we're far from home us students celebrated the day in style! We hosted a big party here with an incredible showing of red and white fashion, face paints, Canuck trivia, traditional maple-syrup games (hehehe), red vs. whites ultimate frisbee and Canadian Bacon.
Ohh, and we did manage to get a hold of one firework, it was pretty impressive to see that cake sparkler flaring up across the lawn - a thing of beauty!!
Anyway click on the top picture to check out the album. I hope your day was as memorable, and I wish you a warm maple syrup greeting.

Life in Midwifery School

So much is happening here and life is so busy, that I don't know where to begin, but I want to let you in on some of the things I'm doing, some of the details. I could never express to you everything I'm hearing, learning, doing, feeling, etc. But here's a glimpse:

- every week we study Facts for Life a textbook put out by WHO and a bunch of other groups - basically its life saving info that might be common sense to many people here, but has the power to save lives if taught and put in place throughout the developing world. So each week we topple a new topic and then take Tuesday nights to put on all manner of creative productions to teach this information to each other. We get to practice what it would be like to teach this info to a crowd. And out come skits, puppet shows, songs, mimes, game shows and who knows what is to come. This particular puppet was learning about how to stay healthy during pregnancy.
- as a part of our education we are constantly learning about the needs of the poor around the world - which at times feels overwhelming, from watching Invisible Children (please do what it takes to see this movie!!), to other movies on vaccines and world health crises, girls education, refugees, child labour, and more to come. The topics are often heavy and difficult, but we are seeing that there is a world in need of care, and that as we are trained and go out in the power of Christ can we make a difference. Today we had an excellent presentation on HIV/AIDs by a local doctor - it was very very good.

- we also take part in exercises like one last week where 10 of us girls role played as though we were women born into 3rd world situations, as we "grew up" we learned our fate at each step and waited to see if life would give us the chances to move off the road to early death. In the end 6 or 7 of us won the lottery, the others moved through life suffering at each step and finally falling victim to Maternal Death, young, uneducated, uncared for, without a fair chance. I made it off that road - but at each step as we were routing for those still walking it, and I realized that it was entirely real. Infact the odds in real life are not so good. Women and girls, do not have the care, respect and treatment they need and deserve and thousands of them are dying each year because of it!
- every week we have tests and assignments in our specialities (for me that'd be Midwifery), these are hardcore assignments! This is real school, let me tell you - I honestly lug around a entire suitcase of texts, it weighs around 50-60lbs! I'm proud to say I got my first test back today and earned a 90% - I guess that's encouragement for every other late night!

- so every chance we get we try to take a break from studying and throw some fun in - like last Saturday a handful of travelled to the mighty town of Weiser, ID and enjoyed the Fiddle-Fest, we ended up at a makeshift campground where at every trailer people were playing country and bluegrass and we had ourselves a dance - what a fantastic end to a stressful week. We also invited everyone over to enjoy a Newsies Night - we all dressed like turn of the century newspaper boys and watched the wonderful musical - Newsies.

So we keep on, today we wrote another exam and now we begin a new topic again - its feeling rhythmic already, and I can't believe how quickly all of this will pass!

Mercy In Action - 2006

Here we all are - midwives, medics, children's workers, school staff and all our familes!

My Excellent Planning

You would never believe how much is involved in getting ready to leave the country for a couple years! Seriously!
I'm feeling pretty calm today but I'm sure the panic will hit again. And I can assure you - a week ago I thought I'd never manage to finish the phone calls. Immunizations, doctor, dentist, eye doctor, health insurance, car insurance, packing, buying textbooks and plane tickets, finishing a big project at work - not to mention the fact that there are people in my life! And apparently leaving the country for a couple years, isn't something car insurers are used to dealing with - they just don't know what to do with me!
I can't believe I wasn't thinking about all these things earlier, I'm usually a planner, but it never occured to me to be planning things a little earlier than May. I've only known about school for 6 months now! (Dripping with sarcasm, dripping.)
Of course I'm usually dripping with sarcasm. Something I only really discovered last year. In DTS I lived with 20 people, from so many cultures, so many languages, so many life experiences. I found out that my sarcasm wasn't always understood, wasn't always funny, wasn't always right. It was a good lesson. It hurt. And I'm not perfect now. Sometimes after I let a comment slip I wonder if maybe it wasn't what I meant to say, or maybe it was, but I shouldn't have wanted to say it in the first place. But I digress this isn't what I was really writing about, was it?
Life is complicated. For everyone. And you don't really realize how connected, and bolted down you are until you try to pick up and go. Then in one month try and fight for freedom. If you're ever in my situation, may I suggest - start to work out the details just a smidge earlier than I have!