Rainer Maria Rilke

On Solitude:
"Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away, you write, and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast. And if what is near you is far away, then your vastness is already among the stars and is very great; be happy about your growth, in which of course you can't take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don't torment them with your doubts and don't frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn't be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn't necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust."

On Christ:
"Why don't you think of him (Christ) as the one who is coming, who has been approaching from all eternity, the one who will someday arrive, the ultimate fruit of a tree whose leaves we are? What keeps you from projecting his birth into the ages that are coming into existence, and living your life as a painful and lovely day in the history of a great pregnancy? Don't you see how everything that happens is again and again a beginning, and couldn't it be His beginning, since, in itself, starting is always so beautiful? If he is the most perfect one, must not what is less prefect precede him, so that he can choose himself out of fullness and superabundance? - Must not he be the last one, so that he can include everything in himself, and what meaning would we have if he whom we are longing for has already existed?"
- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Rilke is moving me and losing me in the vast solitude he praises, it's petrifying and beautiful. And I wonder, could we each be simply living a day of the great pregnancy which will reach it's fullness in Christ's birth? What do you think?

Into the Grey

After another great Sunday at Church I headed out with friends to enjoy lunch and their good company. We settled into BP's lounge and discussed many things like cats and hammers, psychopathy and patriarchy, cultural conditioning and Christmas plans. When towards the end of our round of Stromboli sandwiches, we struck a deep note and began to probe our views on life's grey areas. The Truth and truths of Jesus as The Way, the canonization and legitimacy of Scripture and the validity of other gods. It was quite a discussion.
I've missed that. I've missed healthy, deep wrestling with people who might not all think as I do, who might have something to teach me, who might need to hear what is in my heart, just as I need to hear what is in theirs. And perhaps that's just more cultural conditioning, perhaps that desire in me might speak more to how I've been raised and to my culture, then it does to any human need. I never experienced any such discussion among Filipinos, perhaps I was oblivious, perhaps my language was too limited. Or perhaps the value of individual beliefs and the obsession with truth is a cultural trait limited to where I have been raised. Perhaps.
It's all tying together, all our topics swirling in and out in some sort of mixer dance; what we said, and how I'm talking about it now, inextricably linked and confusing. We reached no conclusions, and no one won or lost, but we made a date for next Saturday morning to go at it again over coffee. I've missed this.

The Least

You might expect that being a midwife at a clinic that serves poor families in a 3rd world country, would just be a very rewarding experience. You might think that one would feel like they were were doing amazing ministry everyday. But for me, for the most part I overlook those things. I usually feel like I'm at work, it's good work, but still just work. But every once and a while, I catch a glimpse of the ministry being performed by my hands even when I'm "just working".
A woman labours through the night and as I take my shift in "labour watching", sitting with her, rubbing her back, breathing with her through each contraction, wiping hair and sweat from her face. I feel a moment of realization, I'm labour watching over Jesus. Wiping His brow, speaking encouragement to Him.
And on another night as I gently wash the dried blood off a new mother's body, my mind sees for a second that I am washing the legs and feet of Jesus. And I really truely know it, to the point that in that moment I can only pray, and that even writing this brings me tears.
I'm not writing this because I'm proud of these little things I've done. People do far greater things each and every day. I'm only writing because His words are true, "Whatever we do for the least of these, we do it for Him." And I can go to work and not expect to do or be or find any great thing. I can stare neediness in the face and not respond correctly, caringly and Christianly. That's me, I can do that. But sometimes God grabs ahold of my heart, and opens my eyes and I catch a glimpse of glory. Of worship. Of a God who chooses to be found "in the least of these."

Lessons From Day-to-Day Travels

There is an attitude among the poor here that I've been noticing lately, that I don't see among any class at home. It is a pride in working, in providing, that exists regardless of the quality or glamour of a job. The working population here fits into two groups, those who do exhausting work, and those who get to take it pretty easy while they bring in their income. But both groups seem to work an unimaginable 6-7 days/week, pulling some nasty hours. Jobs are serious here, and if you're lucky enough to have one you respect it by working long and hard!
But back to that attitude, a quick trip anywhere in a Filipino city and you will see the wealthy in their new SUVs with tinted glass, and the packed out jeepneys with everyone else, alongside the the labourer (trabahador), who makes his living doing manual construction work, or sweeping streets, selling fruit from a basket or super glue at intersections. People here are willing to do menial work, they take jobs that I would cringe at, that I would demand a high wage for, that would embarass me. And the poor are willing to take those jobs and work hard at them day in and day out, and they go home with the satisfaction of having worked hard and to provide for their family the best they can.
In the West we ask our childern what they want to be when they grow up. Here, that would be a luxury. I wonder what the pedicab driver, the street cleaner or the garbage sorter dreamt of in their youth. Life here isn't easy, the middle class and the poor make a daily wage I'm sure you wouldn't believe if I told you. Even those with college educations aren't likely to ever enjoy luxuries. But regardless of prestige, people here have pride and a work ethic I want to learn from. It's just something I'm obeserving, it's part of the privilege and daily grind of being here - I'm seeing things I've never seen in any short term stay abroad. Like I said last week, I'm learning.

"Pagans in a Crisis"

I have enjoyed the wisdom of Mr. Oswald this week, here are some quotes:

"If a person is ever going to do anything worthwhile, there will be times when he must risk everything by his leap in the dark."

"We act like pagans in a crisis— only one out of an entire crowd is daring enough to invest his faith in the character of God."

"What are you fearing? Whatever it may be, you are not a coward about it— you are determined to face it, yet you still have a feeling of fear. When it seems that there is nothing and no one to help you, say to yourself, 'But 'The Lord is my helper' this very moment, even in my present circumstance.' "

"Human frailty is another thing that gets between God’s words of assurance and our own words and thoughts. When we realize how feeble we are in facing difficulties, the difficulties become like giants, we become like grasshoppers, and God seems to be nonexistent. But remember God’s assurance to us— 'I will never. . . forsake you.' "

If you happen to be facing fears, the unknown, big questions or the call of God on your life, perhaps these words will encourage and challenge you as much as they did me. I especially love #2.
Yesterday I bought my ticket - no turning back now! I am setting sail from Manila next Wednesday, taking an overnight ferry down to Cebu City to begin this next chapter, it seems that life is just a series of chapters, and mine seem to be short ones... I am excited for the ferry experience, it might be one I only want to have once, but I'm ready to give it a try. I'd appreciated your prayers for my ship not to sink! Thanx.

Wrestling

Life is an interesting mix of totally wonderful and enjoyable experiences; treats, time with friends and new adventures. And loneliness, discomfort, hard questions and suffering. I suppose I'm incredibly lucky to have so much of the good!
Lately amidst fun and chances to minister, my heart has been wrestling with some difficult questions. Every day I work here I meet and serve alongside families who do not eat 3 meals a day, their homes teeter on stilts over filthy water, or rise as shacks over years of garbage. I test the vision of children who don't even have clothes, and are instead covered in black dirt I don't want to touch and have sores oozing from their faces. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or to paint for you a sort of World Vision commercial, I'm simply laying out the honest truth I see day by day. And the thing is I'm only the one seeing it. I'm not the mother, daughter, father, son living that life. I'm not them and I can't imagine being them. But being among these children of God brings so many questions to which I have no answers.
How now do I live? Is it okay, that people live like this and I go to Starbucks? And how should I respond to the child begging at my taxi window? And is it okay that my heart really longs to live a certain kind of comfortable life at home? And what does the Bible say, what did Jesus do, how has He called us to live?
My mind is swirling with these, wondering about the financial choices I make each day, wondering how I am to live after this year. Wondering if I can't handle facing the poverty, who will? And there aren't easy answers, there might not be any answers. There's just this entangled web of questions, one leads to the next and then back again. I don't think that it's either/or, black and white. Instead it's just a mess.
I encourage you to ask these questions too. Sorry, I'm encouraging you to enter a confusing and worrisome state! But I think it's important, and I think it's essential to being a disciple. And it's tough. If you have any wisdom on the subject, or if you've asked similar questions, then let's chat about it, cause I'm looking for wisdom and Godly answers.

The Stamp of Glory

I just finished a novel about the American abolition movement called The Stamp of Glory by Tim Stafford. It's a good read.
In the last few pages the main man looks inwardly at himself and declares, "I am too passionate a man, too eager to shout hallelujah, and too quick to discouragement."
I thought that in the feminine form that thought would very well describe me.

All of the 100 Quotes

If anyone is interested in perusing through ALL 100 Quotes just follow this link to The Travelling Team website. You might wanna work through them in shifts, or set aside a good 15-20min to take on the whole lot!
Be moved, inspired, empassioned and then go ahead and MOVE! Much love.

100 Quotes

A friend of mine recently posted these 100 Quotes of missionary "greats", inspirational types and the Bible itself. It was a long list, and I must say a rather convicting one. The missionary voices are rarely easy on Christians - they demand a high standard of service, obedience, prayer and evangelism. They refuse to console our consciences. They are harsh.
But they also inspire, they awaken our hearts to the call of God, to our very small place in His very great work and to the glory of our Redeemer!

After reading that whole long list I thought I slim it down a fair bit and share with you my personal Top 10, here we are:

"What are we here for, to have a good time with Christians or to save sinners?" - Malla Moe

"God's part is to put forth power; our part is to put forth faith." - Andrew A. Bonar

"I am ready to burn out for God. I am ready to endure any hardship, if by any means I might save some. The longing of my heart is to make known my glorious Redeemer to those who have never heard." -William Burns

"His authority on earth allows us to dare to go to all the nations. His authority in heaven gives us our only hope of success. And His presence with us leaves us no other choice." - John Stott

"Tell the students to give up their small ambitions and come eastward to preach the gospel of Christ." - Francis Xavier

"Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell, I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of Hell." - C.T. Studd

"There is something wonderfully misleading, full of hallucination and delusion in this business of missionary calls. With many of us it is not a missionary call at all that we are looking for; it is a shove. There are a great many of us who would never hear a call if it came." - Robert Speer

"None but women can reach Muslim Women... So we have a solemn duty in this matter that we cannot shift. The blood of souls is on our skirts, and God will demand them at our hands." - Missionary wife from the Middle East

"We have a God who delights in impossibilities." - Andrew Murray

"You can do something other than working with God in His purpose, but it will always be something lesser, and you couldn't come up with something better." - Steve Hawthorne

Seven Rules for Daily Living

1) Seek to give much, expect nothing.
2) Put the very best construction on the actions of others.
3) Never let a day pass without at least a quarter of an hour spent in the study of the Bible.
4) Never omit daily morning and evening private prayer and devotion.
5) In all things seek to know God’s Will and when known obey at any cost.
6) Seek to cultivate a quiet prayerful spirit.
7) Seek each day to do or say something to further Christianity among the [lost].

-1894, written inside the Bible of Canadian
missionary Jonathan Goforth in China

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day:
"That's how rumors start!"
- Hugh Wilson
(yeah this is a joke, but remember these wise words, Hugh really wants you to!)