Maayo Kaayo

Twenty ten was this great year of God giving me good things. And I may not have blogged in the last 8 months, but it's New Years and the day, the season, demand some accounting of my living and some contemplation.
January 1, 2010. I was stuck in Chicago, for the second time in a week, ridiculously frustrated, tired and just wanting to be home! Ironically three days later, having arrived home, I packed my car and moved. Transplanting to Calgary with hopes of things that might come to fruition. And one year later I can say that none of them turned out as I had hoped or expected.
Thus far you're probably wondering where all the good was. Well, I fell into it, or God tricked me into it, or something! While I was camping out in the home of kind friends, working towards something else, God began to plant me in their neighbourhood and church. And by March I realized that I wanted to call this place home, and these people my community. So I've stayed and been so blessed in it all.
Last year as I wandered, (was that really just last year??), I felt like I connected with Henri Nouwen's question of Where do I belong?, and that's what I was asking God. And He responded with Bowness and Awaken. He took away the wandering in my heart, the part of me always looking for the next thing, the restless part. He planted me here.
January 1, 2011. I slept in after a late night with friends. Woke to sunshine and drew up my blinds, made coffee, turned up Sufjan Stevens and spent a few hours carving back the chaos in my life. Making space to breathe and live. I don't pretend to guess at 2011. I hope for more good things; I look forward to growing season again, I hope midwifery school starts this fall, I hope to create more rhythm in my life in this neighbourhood, I hope to make certain steps in loving people better. But that's all I've really got. I'm so grateful for what God has given me, for a year that was that good! Here's to another!

Spoons scramble at Thursday night dinner.


Working on my Skip It skills with this dumpster find.


Made a cross country trip with my friend Meghan, Hello Wisconsin!


Said goodbye to my dear old friend Matilda, moved on to Frieda the Matrix, and lost her just before Christmas. The New Year will bring car shopping.


Turned 25 on Vancouver Island.

Thanksgivng with my amazing family!

And for the first time since I was half my age, I'm rocking some bangs.

The Summer Reading List

School is done, what a sigh of relief! No assigned reading, night classes or assignment deadlines for at least the next four months. I intend to spend the summer, which is currently being held at bay by May flurries, with work, gardening, reading and trips to the mountains. Ahhh!
As such I have composed for myself a summer reading list. I realized a while back, the complete lack of fictional reading in my diet. My non-school books still tend to focus on theology, spiritual formation and discipline and world issues. None of that creative stuff. So I am making an attempt at even list for the summer, 4 parts fiction and 4 parts not. The list:

1. Passage to Juneau - Jonathan Raban - This travel book, is actually falling into my fiction category. It follows the authors' sail from Seattle to Juneau via the Inside Passage. And all the while telling stories of the explorers, natives and contemporaries who have lived their lives on it.
2. Surprised by Hope - NT Wright - It's NT. And he's addressing our theology of death, resurrection and what the Christian hope truly is and isn't. I'm excited.
   
3. Hey Nostradamus! - Douglas Coupland - This will be my first Coupland read. From a school shooting in Vancouver a story is told through two students, twisting into their religion and life a dozen years later, all told supposedly with dry humor.
4. Freedom of Simplicity (Foster) / The Wounded Healer (Nouwen) - I am giving the two of these only one spot. Because I've actually already read half of each. And they're incredible, and they just need to be read to completion.
5. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen - I picked up a copy at a used book sale this weekend, and can't wait to give it a try!
6. Colossians Remixed - Walsh & Keesmaat - One half biblical commentary on the book, and one half what do we do with it. The subtitle has me hooked: subverting the empire.
   
7. Book of Negroes - Lawrence Hill - Follows one child forced from Africa into slavery, and her life long journey out of slavery and eventually back home. I will read it with a box Kleenex.
8. The Original Jesus - NT Wright - NT again. I found this at the used book sale on the weekend, and it must be read. As you can probably imagine, it looks at the historical Jesus.

There it is. Written in stone. The must reads. I'm excited to soak up all the ideas and stories and for all the new things to think about. And if this snow ever melts I'm looking forward to days spent sitting outdoors with one of the above.

Sunday Morning

I had tea with a friend this morning, so I made dark chocolate raspberry scones. Delish!

Embracing Bright Sadness

It's spring here all windy and sunny, and people out walking and buying bicycles across the street. I have been enjoying walks down to the river and around the neighbourhood, past incredible houses and yards that look like acreages, and rundown apartment complexes and boarded up homes. I love this strange place of Bowness.
I have been working with the twins for the last 3 weeks and this is really the perfect job for me right now! I spend my days juggling the babes, so far they're still so small that I can lift and care for one in each arm. Right now the most challenging part is feeding or burping them both at the same time. But the the true challenge will come as they get bigger. Yikes. All in all I think it's perfect: 2 sweet babies by day, social life and good night's sleep by night!
There are about 3 weeks left of school and my only remaining assignment is a hermeneutics paper on Hebrews 6, and whether or not Christians can reject Jesus and then be brought back to repentance. I anticipate it to be intense, but really good too, right?
Also good - Lent, I've been really challenged so far, and I'm glad about that. I've participated in Lent before and found my practice a little empty. This has hit closer to my heart, my choices, my pocketbook. Perfect. It hits when my favourite pair of jeans get a bad hole in them, I only have 2 other pairs. To shop now would simply be filling a need, but instead I get to exercise restraint and wait until after Easter. Wearing the jeans I like less, wearing skirts and leggings. Keeping my fast and recognizing that so many do not get to choose to simply buy new jeans when old ones get holes. Much less clothes they don't need, or luxurious treats like chocolate and lattes. This is my Bright Sadness this year.

Tulips on the Table

I have tulips on the desk in front of me, and tulips are things that make me happy. So I smile.
Coming to the end of reading week I have accomplished a deplorably small amount of reading. Oops. Added to that issue is the part where my computer crapped out this last week, with no warning. Taking it with it all my class notes, which would assist my midterm prep. I'm hoping resurrection is in it's future.
Lent started on Wednesday and I decided to participate. I'm going to try to keep up with someone's version of the Lenten lectionary. But more for certain, I have put some restrictions on my buying habits. I tend to spend my "extra" money on such things as lattes, chocolate and clothes. All "me" things, and all offer me some sense of temporary satisfaction. I am not buying any of them for the next 40 days, and maybe, hopefully far less of them after.
Reason 1: is that they are ultimately selfish things, they don't benefit others, they are me hoarding good things all for myself. Reason 2: is that I believe that the excess of my budget is indeed the blessing and provision of God, for the express purpose of blessing others. And me using it so indiscriminately is actually me stealing it from those God had intended to bless through me. Whether those others are my roommates or the poor, or someone else entirely.
So I am disciplining myself. And very glad to be. It's already hurt on several occasions, and that is proof enough to me that I hit the nail on the head, and chose well this season.
One week until the twins.

The Hitchhiker Who Stayed

I went to a show tonight and a girl I'd just met said to me, "your hair looks so... natural." Umm, thanks?? Now I thought I'd been having a pretty good hair day. I was feeling really great about my hair. Until I was suddenly feeling very self-concious and wishing I had crazy, unclean hipster hair. Thanks lady.
I've been working lots this last week, a different job every day, different house, different kids, different parents, different hours. It's a good way to keep from getting bored, and I've looked after some pretty sweet kids. But I'm also excited, because on Monday night I'll be interviewing for a contract nannying newborn twins! Which would offer more doses of normal and stable to my days. If I can deal with that. I think the demands of two infants would keep me on my toes enough. Until then, I'll keep touring the city finding all sorts of incredible and hidden neighbourhoods and beautiful homes!
Things seem rather impossible on the moving front, like things are just floating and maybe floating apart. I so want this to happen, I am excited and wish I wasn't being delayed. But I'm working on the whole trusting thing, and I love my current home and I really am happy.
I love this city, I love life. Now everything isn't simply glossy good, yet God has transformed my existence with joy. Not some ridiculous amount of smiling and happiness. But deep, peaceful and thankful joy. The wandering I did this fall was imperfect and so good, so necessary - I have been changed. Somewhere along the road joy hopped in my stationwagon, and I'm not letting it go!